The Protoype

Letting Love carry you

I’m scared all the time.
More so now that I’m in deep healing than when I was wearing my old armor.

My armor made me feel like I was fine.
Like I had everything under control.
Like I could do anything, and withstand anything without repercussion.

But something also felt off.
Like my life—and who I knew myself to be at my core—was misaligned.
Like there was something missing.
Like I was in a cosmic game of “spot the difference,” and I could never quite tell what was wrong.

At some point in my healing journey, I started to feel terrified.
I learned that the terror I felt wasn’t new—it had been buried under my coping mechanisms.
Buried so deep I didn’t even know how I felt until it all began to melt away.

I’ll tell you, this path is not for the faint of heart.
I suspect this is the point in many people’s journey when they turn back
When they decide they’ve gone too far and quietly walk themselves back to the last threshold,
where they could stay feeling relatively okay.
Relatively sane.
Fine.

Just keep the lid on it and keep going.

The thing is, though—the lid is never on tight enough.
Something will always feel off when you’re stuck in illusion.

Most people smoke it away,
or drink it away,
or find healthy outlets like exercise, eating right, going to acupuncture, taking the antidepressants, or going to therapy.

There is nothing wrong with doing any of those things.

But is that called healing? Or is that a collection of methods that provide symptom relief?
Is it a pill that masks how you feel, so you can keep operating while you’re sick?

I’m not saying it is.
I’m asking.

What if real healing looks like taking the lid off?
What if it means slowly stepping away from those methods of coping
until the hurt that’s been festering underneath can be fully seen?

It might seem unsafe to do this.
What happens when you let go of keeping it together and let yourself—and maybe your life—
slowly or quickly unravel?

This isn’t something I chose.
This is what happened when I kept choosing God.
When I kept pursuing Spirit.
Listening.
Meditating.
Following the signs.
Letting my intuition guide me.

When you attune yourself to truth and healing, something strange happens.
The world you’ve created for yourself—
carefully arranged by fear and coping—
starts to become uncomfortable.

The things that used to feel good… start to feel off.
You start seeing beneath the illusion—to the truth.
And the truth hurts.
A lot.

I had a client once stop sessions with me because they felt uncomfortable with what was coming through in readings.
We were chipping away at what made their life feel “fine”—
what made them feel fine about their sense of identity
and the life they’d created to support it.

And I want to be very clear here:

There is nothing wrong with that.
There is no prize you get for being “the truest,”
for destroying your illusions faster.

Whatever you are wanting to cling to, you cling baby—for as long as you want.
You have all of eternity to learn how to let go.

But God is going to keep tapping on your shoulder.

It might feel like something’s off,
but you can’t put a finger on it.
Someone says something to you, and it just doesn’t sound right.
The same things keep happening and you don’t know why.
You’re doing everything you’re supposed to…
but you still don’t feel satisfied.
You love the people in your life,
but you still feel lonely.
Stuff just doesn’t work out anymore.
The drink or the smoke or the therapy or the yoga class—
just doesn’t hit anymore.
Not like it used to.

That’s the Source of all creation coming on to you.
That’s Him saying:

“Baby, stop looking over there. I’ve got what you need.”

This is what I mean when I say:
You can let your fear go and start letting Love catch you.

Letting illusion fall apart is not something you do on your own—
it’s not even something you do.

It’s a beautifully precise, divine orchestration that’s always happening.
When you pay attention, you can see it.
And maybe it happens faster.

Watching God work is the most beautiful thing you’ll ever see.
And you can only see it when you agree to trust Him—
to trust Love, more than your fear.

It’s not something you have to manage.
It’s something He does in you—perfectly,
the way only He can.

And He’s got you.

He knows everything already.
He knows what you’re going to do.
How it’s going to go.

And the true healing begins
when you turn to him and say:
“Here, I’m tired of holding it all together, I’m giving it all to You. Will you carry me?”

So no—maybe this kind of letting go isn’t safe to do on your own.
But you are always perfectly safe in the arms of Love.

There is no doing that has to happen—
just letting Love hold you,
and carry the weight.

It’s learning how to trust Love
and listen to it
when your fears are telling you to repeat old patterns.

And every time you turn to Him instead,
and do what He says—
what He whispers into your heart—

you break through another threshold.

A threshold that leads away from the way things have always been…
…to the new way.
The new world.
Designed by Love Himself.